Monday, December 21, 2009

And Smile..

I'm sitting alone at dinnertime, looking at my half blinking Christmas tree. Half frustrated that it can't decide if it is supposed to blink or not. And half happy to see it in my new home, high on it's pedestal to make it look taller. The cat is me-owing, constantly pacing. The house is quiet.  I am reflecting on my day.

A visit with my sister for her thirty six week check up. Perfect. Textbook. A nice afternoon ride with my middle sister. Something we both hoped for for years and finally enjoy. I'm anticipating the arrival of my grandparents. They will be home tonight after driving eleven hundred miles to and from their vacation to visit my great grandmother for her ninetieth birthday. Hoping that at nearly seventy years old - I'll be doing the same. I miss them terribly when they go out of town.

I thought back on the births of my little girls after hearing the heart beat of my upcoming  niece. I wonder if they will ever know the love that I carry in my heart for them. Our Christmas tree shelters the gifts we bought. Everything we had, we gave solely to them this year. And I wonder when they have children- will they look back fondly on the Christmases we share now. Will they come back year after year for more.

A time will come that the traditions I hold so dear will change. That will be more difficult than anything I can think of. So tonight as I reflect on the past and hold dearly to the present- I want to etch in my mind these moments.So that while driving eleven hundred miles at the age of seventy and celebrating my ninetieth birthday, I will relive them. And smile.